I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
