TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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