he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
