people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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