beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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