Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
