He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
