Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
