Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
false alarm. still invincible.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
