Yo dont text me then not text me
smell my finger.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
