I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
