I think I won the penis lottery.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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