that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
