We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
