So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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