I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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