I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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