i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize