Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I intend to get homeless drunk
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize