ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
