Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
