I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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