Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
