better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
