Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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