i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
