So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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