He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
