Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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