At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
