She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
