He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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