I cannot find my penis.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
