If that was your dad, he is hot
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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