Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
