I looked at my own cervix.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
