A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
