no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
