What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
