You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
