What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
