Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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