last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
