In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
