How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
