i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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