My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
