new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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