Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
