It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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