ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
