There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
