i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
