He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize