If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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