the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
