that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
