Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
