That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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