I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
