dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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