I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
