The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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